If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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