if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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