i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
