a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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