called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
