this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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