Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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