Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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