I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
