Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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