Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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