can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
