Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
