New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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