...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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