she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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