Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
