The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
