And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
