I cannot find my penis.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The uberlube is also flammable
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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