I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
