you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
