If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
