I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
not ubering you a puppy
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize