I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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