They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
