Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
