i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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