she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
