I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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