coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
