stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
