Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
