is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize