the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
