My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
