I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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