My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
