I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
