There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
