I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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