the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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