My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
