:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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