brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
