I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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