somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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