New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
