he wants to bone in the snuggie
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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