It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize