i was born a porn star she said
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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