She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have fence marks all over my body
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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