what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
