I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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