even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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